"That is not dead that manage to lie down to the unstoppable and while the Great Years are forgotten then death itself could kill."
That's probably wrong since it doesn't make any sense.
I wouldn't say
wrong. Not exactly what I was trying to say, but mostly close enough considering how much had to be guesswork. For Cthulhu Mythos / Lovecraft fan that would probably be enough to be able to recognize the line I was aiming for: "That is not dead which can eternal lie; and with strange eons even death may die."
You probably noticed that
rek and
jin are animate and singular. The writing is about a god (not from Martin's mythos, of course, but as Martin has quite open references to Cthulhu Mythos, this resonates strongly with the Drowned God), so I felt this is approproate.
odriva is meant to be a stative verb version of negative of supposed adjective
driv, "dead". I guess you got it right as you didn't use future, even though I thought that would be pretty hard to intuit / decipher.
Rek odriva is thus supposed to mean quite exactly "That is not dead", but on the "He is undead" side of the meaning.
I used
vil instead of
laz mainly because I didn't want to use the same auxiliary-thing twice and I knew "may" would turn in my limited skill to
laz. The exact scopes of the words are still very fuzzy and "that which manages to eternally lie" was to my thinking anyways pretty close to the original intent.
My guess would be that
chilat (if such word even exists) is a stative, so I'd think
vil chila is more "manages to keep on lying" or "manages to be lying" than "manages to lie down".
Annakhmenaan is, of course where my speculative derivational morphology began to go over the top.
Nakhmen as an adjective "endless" is quite probable word. I needed a temporal endlessness, eternity, so I threw in the temporalifying /aCC-/ prefix. Of course there was the problem with the same /aCC-/ meaning "to cause to". Neither "unstoppable" nor "eternity" is likely to be grammatically correct derivations and it is even less likely that they are real (diegetical) words. The bright side of this is that if one is a real word, the other probably still isn't.
Thinking about this now, I think I would have had much higher chances with
avvosaan. We know that
avvos is a word for "never", but as far as I can remember we don't know, how ablative and allative work with it. "Until never" might well turn into "forever", though "nevermore" is I guess more probable.
Firesofosorof is, I think, a nice construct. Not that it would likely exist as an established word. I meant "A big bunch of years." (it could of course as well be "A bunch of exceptionally great years.")
I would have put that in plural, too, but, alas, the word ended up inanimate.
Firesofosor could mean anything from "bunch of years" to "lifespan", and even to "roundabout millenia", so firesofosorof, if it really meant just a larger span of time, could mean anything from "many years, like twenty or something" to "the entire timespan of the universe". Still, pretty good, eh?
Then there is
veshilae. The word I started with is of course
shilat, which is marked (as I'm quite certain it should be) to conjugate as shil/-at/. It means, more or less, "to be familiar with", so if there is a negative,
eshilalat, that should to my thinking be something like "to be strange to" or "to not comprehend" - something stronger or more specific than just "to not be familiar with", as that would not need an own word.
The end isn't that interesting. I didn't know, where to put the
sekke or if it would really work anywhere the way I wanted it to.
The only clear error at the translation, I think:
adrivoe is a future 3rd person singular of
drivolat, "to die". "To kill" is
addrivat. [I haven't paid attention to this earlier, but the "to cause" versions seem to be usually built of stative rather than active versions of the words.]
In short: That/(he) is.not.dead/(is.undead) which/(who) can/(manages to) lie(supine) "forever", and when aeons/(great.many.years) are.strange/(are.incomprehensible), then even/(itself) death may/(can) die/(will.die).
Many connotations might be perfect in the lovecraftian framework.
