Attempt at coining a phrase

[Khal Esizigo]

Ok. So like me. The dothraki  appear to be a race of men who take good care of their facial follicles. Khals seem to sport decent beards as did many leaders of similar races. It was a status thing.

To this end I have attempted to coin a phrase and was hoping someone could review it for me for grammatical accuracy and even offer their insight as to wether this may be something the people of the dothraki sea may say, culturally speaking.

"Ki shiranesi kimoa anni" when surprised.

And

"Anha asqoyi hatif  (maybe "ki" instead of "hatif") shiranesi kimoa anni" when solemnly attesting  to one thing or another.

Thoughts?

[Khal Esizigo]

Culturally I'm sure it is more appropriate to think they would say

"Ki hrazefi kimoa anni"

Or
"Anha asqoyi yeraan, hatif hrazefi kimoa anni"

But beards are cooler than horses. Lol

[Khal Esizigo]

I've joined a dead forum. havent I?

[Qvaak]

I've joined a dead forum. havent I?

Relatively, yes; in absolute sense, no never, just occasionally very quiet. Unfortunately it's too slow quiet for many of the newcomers. What are the chances that you ever read this!

insight as to wether this may be something the people of the dothraki sea may say, culturally speaking.

Yea. Idiomatic expressions can end up being pretty much what ever (even ungrammatic!) and these beardy ones certainly have no friction agaist Dothraki culture. However, since the hair-braids are the definite big manly prowess thing, I would find this kind of idioms about beards a bit odd near miss.

review it for me for grammatical accuracy

The accurecy is good. You certainly have used the grammar, not just the words.

"Ki shiranesi kimoa anni" when surprised.

Shirane is marked inanimate on our vocab (and since pretty much everything even a bit mass-wordy is inanimate, this should be right). The genitive would thus be shirani, and plural never explicit in the noun itself.

"Anha asqoyi hatif  (maybe "ki" instead of "hatif") shiranesi kimoa anni" when solemnly attesting  to one thing or another.

The same thing about shirane, of course.
Asqoyi is a noun. Dothraki is nowhere near as flexible as English in zero-deriving words from one word class to another. And if you managed to get a verb, you'd need to conjugate it. As it is now, it reads pretty much "I am an oath in front of my ancestors' beards." Anha astak asqoy is how the show did it (asqoyi is in accusative, thus the missing i).

[Khal Esizigo]

so the "anha astak asqoy" makes it "I speak an oath/vow, in front of my ancestors beards"?

so even though vow is both a noun and verb in english, with dothraki asqoyi is only a noun? therefore it needs the Astok to precede it?

[Qvaak]

so the "anha astak asqoy" makes it "I speak an oath/vow, in front of my ancestors beards"?
so even though vow is both a noun and verb in english, with dothraki asqoyi is only a noun? therefore it needs the Astok to precede it?

yes.