Translating a short (Seinfeld-Dothraki) comedy sketch

[ingsve]

The Dothraki usually don't deal with money at all. They have a gift based economy pretty much. You give them something as a gift and they pay you back with a gift in their own time.

The first long sentence could be shortened to  Anha ahilek Irries shilokhi. "I going to have sex with Irri tomorrow."

[killingtime23]

Ok, so they have a gift based economy.  I rather like this.  It's like a modern day time bank...lol

But as far as this sketch goes, I had a thought last night. What if we changed the coin toss entirely to a Dothraki version of Rock, Paper, Scissors.  And for the sake of continuity and comprehension, let's keep Rock, so it will be Rock, ____, _____.

Any funny suggestions as to what we could put in place for Paper and Scissors that would maintain the Dothraki spirit?

As you can see I'm not one for rigid scripts. Nothing is static. We're always improvising, changing, evolving. And I'm happy to have your help in this whole thing, so consider yourselves impromptu comedy writers.

[ingsve]

How about arakh, bow or whip?

Arakh beats whip
Whip beats bow
Bow beats arakh

Perhaps not 100% accurate but I think one could argue that it makes some sliver of sense at least and it's certainly fitting for the Dothraki.

In dothraki that would be Arakh, Orvik, Kohol.

[ingsve]

Nesas, anha laz fichak yeraan athjerar davra qisi loy khogari kherikhoon oqeti adavranaza. ~ Know, I can bring to you a good trading about some best sheep skin clothes.

Hale, anha nesak loy khogari davra ha yeraan. ~ Hey, I know about some good clothes for you.

[killingtime23]

Ok, I like Arakh, Orvik, Kohol, but I'm thinking maybe we could almost do a direct translation or really close.

and have it be Arakh, (Paper or something similarly benign) and then instead of scissors we say "knife."

which would lead well into the final scene.

So here's the new ending in English.  It might make some of the translations much smoother. We just have to find something that works instead of paper that would in essence cover rock, but lose to knife.

JERRO
Ahhh, there goes the game. You were distracting me....
(crosses his arms)
Well, I’m not chasing it.

JORGO
Somebody’s got to.

JERRO
Rock, "paper", knife?

JORGO
Fine.

Jerro and Jorgo shoot after three grunts.

JORGO (CONT’D)
Again! Best out of three.

Jerro wins again.

JERRO
Face it, I won... with the Mother of Mountains as my witness.

Jorgo sneers at Jerro.
 
JORGO
Congratulations...

JORGO (CONT’D)
(screams to himself)
Why would you use “paper” twice?

Jerro gloats a bit and turns to take a swig out of his water jug. Jorgo attempts to surprise him and slit his throat from behind. 
He trips and falls onto his knife. Jerro stands over Jorgo bleeding out.

JERRO
And you wanted to be my loin cloth salesman...

Dothraki-Seinfeld bumper music.

(sorry to make more work, but ingsve's point about the Dothraki not using money irked me and I wanted to make it right.)

[ingsve]

Well, we don't know what the word for "knife" is but I guess we could ask David and find out. As for something benign that covers Arakh then perhaps "leaf" though I fail to see the logic of having something that can beat a sword but is defeated by a knife?

[killingtime23]

oh crap, my bad. I thought arakh stood for "rock." i'm an idiot.

Here's a funny compromise,  Rock, Leaf, Sword is the game.

Leaf covers rock, (as does paper weirdly in the real game), Rock beats Sword, and Sword beats Leaf.

just need the actual word for "rock"..lol

and the word for "leaf"

[ingsve]

Ya, arakh is the name of the typical Dothraki curved scythelike swords. Since it's a specific type of weapon people usually use the word arakh even in english.

"Rock" or rather "stone" is negwin and leaf is daeni.

[ingsve]

Here is my translation of the new ending.


Hale, rekke fonikh ee. Yer zimeme anna. ~ Hey, there the game goes. You distracted me.

*some grunt*, Anha vos afonak mae. ~ Well, I won't chase it.

Voj eth ta haz. ~ Person has to do that.

Negwin, daeni, arakh? ~Rock, leaf, arakh?

Ai ~Fine.

Save! Ataki akataan. ~Again! First to two.

Tihos, anha najah...ma Mae Krazaaji vitiherak anni. ~Understand, I was victorious...and the Mother of Mountains is my witness.

San atchomari ~Congratulations...

Kifindirgi yer ti "daeni" kash akat athlajar? ~Why did you do leaf during two fights?

Ma yer zal meyer jerak khogari ha anhaan. ~ And you wanted to be a clothes merchant for me.

[killingtime23]

Brilliant!  This is great.

I really like Rock, Leaf, Arakh (sword) much more than the coin toss.

I've sent the updated scripts to the actors and provided the pronunciation and stresses resources.

[ingsve]

So that's the final script then and does that include the shortened sentences I suggested? Want me to record it for you as well?

[killingtime23]

Absolutely! That would be wonderful. Thank you.

And if you feel the stress marks would be helpful, we can see if Qvaak would be willing to add them.

[ingsve]

Here is the text I recorded. I hope I pieced it together correctly. At any rate it should give a decent view of how words are pronounced, mostly at least.

Jin khogar eth ee

Me athgendar

Hale, anha nesak loy khogari davra ha yeraan

Anha'sh aqorak haz athjerar ha yeroon. Anha ahilek Irries shílokhi.

Yer jano! Fini qisi Jhiqui?

Fini? Asti anhaan meyer vovvethi nhizoes maan save.

Me adakha chen hrazefoon ma qorasoon sindarine.

Yer tokie. Jini disse m'anha vil ezak chiories fin azha anhaan aqqisolat mae k'athqorasokemari.

Fini yer nesi?

Anha nesak.

Hale, rekke fonikh ee. Yer zimeme anna.

Anha vos afonak mae.

Voj eth ta haz.

Negwin, daeni, arakh?

Ai

Save! Ataki akataan.

Tihos, anha najah...ma Mae Krazaaji vitiherak anni.

San atchomari

Kifindirgi yer ti "daeni" kash akat athlajar?

Ma yer zal meyer jerak khogari ha anhaan.

I uploaded the file to a filesharing site:

http://www.mediafire.com/?fnr7z8t3ctod3y7

Let me know if there is a problem with the download.

[killingtime23]

fantastic!  thank you so much. I just sent them the file and their specific lines.

Now in case I want one of the actors to address the other, say as such, "Jerro! Asti anhaan meyer vovvethi nhizoes maan save."

would it just be like that?  When addressing someone does the name change at all?

[ingsve]

fantastic!  thank you so much. I just sent them the file and their specific lines.

Now in case I want one of the actors to address the other, say as such, "Jerro! Asti anhaan meyer vovvethi nhizoes maan save."

would it just be like that?  When addressing someone does the name change at all?

You would add the word zhey in front of the name. It's a word that marks the person you are addressing kind of like the archaic O in "O Lord, why have you forsaken me"

So you would say Zhey Jerro! Asti anhaan meyer vovvethi nhizoes maan save.