Short but sweet i am working on more (may be a few mistakes) Nice one! Here are some corrections I would do
My sun and stars, my world
Shekh ma shieraki anni, ma rhaesheser Shekh ma shieraki anni, rhaesheser anni
You are the only one for my eyes,
Yer disse num ha ma tih Yer disse ha tih anni
I think of you all the time, day and night
Anha dirgat qisi yera leshitof, asshekh ma ajjalani Anha dirgak qisi yera ayyey, vi asshekhaan ma ajjalanaan
I want it all for you, my sun and stars
Anha zalak ha yera , Shekh ma shieraki anni Anha zalak ei ha yera, Shekh ma shieraki anni
I would do anything to kiss your lips
Anha hash zhille vekhikh ha zoqwa yera heth Anha laz tat zhille vekhikh ha zoqwat hethe yeri
To be in your arms my king, your khaleesi
Ha she yera qora ma Khal, yera Khaleesi She qoraes yeri, khal anni, Khaleesi yeri
My handsome man, I respectfully bow before you
Ma mezahe mahrazh, anha avvemok hatif yera athvichomerar Mahrazh mezahe anni, anha avvemok hatif yera athvichomerar
dothras chek
Here are some tips that were brought to me by the leading team (david, ingse, qvaak, niqqo, and the tutorials of sunquan8094 on youtube) :
- You seem to use
ma as possessive particule. The right way to describe possession is through genitive case (end the noun or pronoun with an -i)
- Adverbs like
disse, ayyey, avvos,... go in the end of the sentence
- You use
num, I think, as an auxillary for
to be. Dothraki does not have a translation for
to be (tutorial 1 on the wiki) you just put the noun subject on nominative case and than the noun complement in accusative case. About adjectives that change the nouns (like
zheana), they are turned to verbs to act as to be + adjective (
zheana -> zheanalat -> yer zheanae beautiful -> to be beautiful -> you are beautiful).
Once again, I'm not linguist, so I can't help much more.
All I can do is check your work as I check for mine : open the wiki on "Adverbs", "Adjectives" "Verbs conjugation", "Verb auxillaries", "Vocabulary", "Noun cases", the dothraki - english dictioonnary and the reverse one, and work with tutorials on youtube.
Hajas !